Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Why do these freak me out?

I can't seem to put my finger on it.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

PUSH!

Now please excuse us while we go recreate this darling costume for tonight,
then flip a coin to see who gets to be the baby.


Happy Halloween!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

never underestimate...

the Halloween spirit of a snail.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Darling,

I can see right through you.

Monday, October 19, 2009

manhood

Invite you friends over for dinner.
Show them to the guest bath.
Insult them.
Enjoy the weirdness at the table.
But at least your bathroom floor will be clean.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

s'not okay.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think the word 'booger' belongs on any wall, let alone the booger placement itself. Ewww.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

going green

News Flash:
Your husband's stinky old beer cans as garden decor
does not equal recycling.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

shady.

Ugliest of the three?
It's a tie.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Otter Orchestra

Complete with Conductor.
Now that's some serious wood{wind} carving.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's not polite to point.

That's right, folks.
It's a zombie finger on a chain.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Craft Fairs...

Something ridiculous for every member of the family!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

I get it, Halloween is coming.

But what's wrong with sticking to jack-o-lanterns and wicked witches?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Is it hot in here?

Or is it just this super creepy wool poncho-for-two?

{submitted by the gals at Pear Tree Events}

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Want to look hot and swim fast?

These will accomplish neither intended purpose.
Sorry honey.
You look ridiculous.
Plus, I bet you can't even walk.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Don't give up, don't give up

together with me and my baby
break the chains of love.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Wash your hands after you pick your nose!

...with booger soap.

What kind of sick mixed message is the mom who has
this in her kids' bathroom sending?!

Monday, September 7, 2009

twisted!

The creepiest part of this type of listing
is always the written description.

"...The Golden Vamp Mare is quite fond of her very fashionable bunny slippers and loves to feast on other dolls. Dare to tame them. Best to keep them in your home to avoid a rumble with outsiders. "

?
Hmm...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Nothing sets the mood...


Like a urine sample candle.

Perfect for your honeymoon.

Or any occasion you just feel the urge to
spice things up with the sweet aroma of
PEE.

Friday, September 4, 2009

roadkill

My kids actually prefer their stuffed animals to be portrayed alive.

"Don't worry, Sweetie, he's just sleeping."

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dingle balls...

are NOT meant to be faux pollops!
EVER!
There is nothing cleansing about a 5 foot plush colon.

{submitted by Tobelina at My Crafty Corner}

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Lost a button?

This would be a great replacement in a pinch.
I mean, death grey goes with practically everything.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Good to know.

Because I thought you might be
smuggling cupcakes in there.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

For your red, white, blue and green thumb.

{I know. You are thinking that this is a joke.
It isn't. It's a real product. Really. With free
super saver shipping, no less.}

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Watch what you say.

Because your mom might just grab you by the ear
and wash your mouth out with soap.

In. The. Shape. Of. Teeth.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

what lies beneath...

Pelvic Pride!

What on earth would be the point of this?
And I can only imagine what that glove is for.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Step back...

Put away the yarn.

Get rid of the early 90's baby clothes.


Give yourself a time out.


Do not come out until you apologize,and
promise to never make these creepy dolls again.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

'til death do they part...

apparently came a little sooner than anticipated.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

No, thanks.

I may be in desperate need of new throw pillows,
but I'll pass on this
pink,
plush
uterus on steroids,
complete with killer fallopian tubes.

It looks fertile.
I'd be afraid it might attack me.

Friday, August 21, 2009

quilting is awesome...

so are handmade clothes.

but there is just no excuse for this.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

More than nature intended.

Even the sunflowers are turning their heads away.
(courtesy of awkward family photos)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

the eighties called...


and they want their lacy padded photo albums back.

(you know you made them once.
admit it.
I can.
but then I stopped.
in 1989.
and apologized to all whom
I gifted.)


you won't find this on my registry.


thomas kincade.
painter of light.
or photo album of not right.


betty says:
"it's not easy to be good."
pretty sure I agree with her.


this one should have died before it began.


no words.
none.
not a single one.

public service announcement:
put down the glue gun.
put away the lace.
seriously.
right now!

Keep your hands to yourself.

Now easier
done
than
said.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Capped.

Winter,

Spring,

Summer,


or Fall...