Why do these freak me out?

I can't seem to put my finger on it.

PUSH!

Now please excuse us while we go recreate this darling costume for tonight,
then flip a coin to see who gets to be the baby.

Happy Halloween!

never underestimate...

the Halloween spirit of a snail.

Darling,

I can see right through you.

manhood

Invite you friends over for dinner.

Show them to the guest bath.

Insult them.

Enjoy the weirdness at the table.

But at least your bathroom floor will be clean.

s'not okay.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think the word 'booger' belongs on any wall, let alone the booger placement itself. Ewww.

going green

News Flash:
Your husband's stinky old beer cans as garden decor
does not equal recycling.

shady.

Ugliest of the three?
It's a tie.

Otter Orchestra

Complete with Conductor.

Now that's some serious wood{wind} carving.

I'm hardcore.

and I make stuff.

It's not polite to point.

That's right, folks.
It's a zombie finger on a chain.

Craft Fairs...

Something ridiculous for every member of the family!

I get it, Halloween is coming.

But what's wrong with sticking to jack-o-lanterns and wicked witches?

Is it hot in here?

Or is it just this super creepy wool poncho-for-two?

{submitted by the gals at Pear Tree Events}

enticing...

Shotgun!

Who could climb the corporate ladder

with spinach in their teeth?

Want to look hot and swim fast?

These will accomplish neither intended purpose.

Sorry honey.

You look ridiculous.

Plus, I bet you can't even walk.

Don't give up, don't give up

together with me and my baby

break the chains of love.

Wash your hands after you pick your nose!

...with booger soap.

What kind of sick mixed message is the mom who has
this in her kids' bathroom sending?!

twisted!

The creepiest part of this type of listing
is always the written description.

"...The Golden Vamp Mare is quite fond of her very fashionable bunny slippers and loves to feast on other dolls. Dare to tame them. Best to keep them in your home to avoid a rumble with outsiders. "

?
Hmm...

Nothing sets the mood...

Like a urine sample candle.

Perfect for your honeymoon.

Or any occasion you just feel the urge to
spice things up with the sweet aroma of
PEE.

roadkill

My kids actually prefer their stuffed animals to be portrayed alive.

"Don't worry, Sweetie, he's just sleeping."

Grandma would be so proud.

But nobody else will be.

Dingle balls...

are NOT meant to be faux pollops!
EVER!
There is nothing cleansing about a 5 foot plush colon.

{submitted by Tobelina at My Crafty Corner}

Lost a button?

This would be a great replacement in a pinch.
I mean, death grey goes with practically everything.

I really could not have said it better.

True dat.

Good to know.

Because I thought you might be

smuggling cupcakes in there.

For your red, white, blue and green thumb.

{I know. You are thinking that this is a joke.

It isn't. It's a real product. Really. With free

super saver shipping, no less.}

Watch what you say.

Because your mom might just grab you by the ear

and wash your mouth out with soap.

In. The. Shape. Of. Teeth.

what lies beneath...

Pelvic Pride!

What on earth would be the point of this?
And I can only imagine what that glove is for.

Step back...

Put away the yarn.

Get rid of the early 90's baby clothes.

Give yourself a time out.

Do not come out until you apologize,and

promise to never make these creepy dolls again.

'til death do they part...

apparently came a little sooner than anticipated.

No, thanks.

I may be in desperate need of new throw pillows,

but I'll pass on this

pink,

plush

uterus on steroids,

complete with killer fallopian tubes.

It looks fertile.
I'd be afraid it might attack me.

quilting is awesome...

so are handmade clothes.

but there is just no excuse for this.

More than nature intended.

Even the sunflowers are turning their heads away.

(courtesy of awkward family photos)

have you been working out?

because I can see your skeleton.

the eighties called...

and they want their lacy padded photo albums back.

(you know you made them once.

admit it.

I can.

but then I stopped.

in 1989.

and apologized to all whom

I gifted.)

you won't find this on my registry.

thomas kincade.

painter of light.

or photo album of not right.

betty says:

"it's not easy to be good."

pretty sure I agree with her.

this one should have died before it began.

no words.

none.

not a single one.

public service announcement:

put down the glue gun.

put away the lace.

seriously.

right now!

Keep your hands to yourself.

Now easier

done

than

said.

Capped.

Winter,

Spring,

Summer,

or Fall...