Friday, July 31, 2009

displays gone wrong

{post courtesy Louise at The Thirty-Something Bride;
submitted by Tegan}

I've noticed an alarming and freakishly scary thing about those Esty sellers: the model heads they use to display their wares.

The best of the offenders.
This one is not so bad really. Decent hairstyle, but the soft wrap and no shoulders is distracting.

The dead, dead soul wearing a lovely orchid.

This reminds me of Japanese anime. Big, giant eyes and snap-on hair.

Really? No, really? Is there anyone out there who would actually purchase this product based on this display? This actually scares me a little bit.

So just to be clear, not busting on the product. Just thinking a living model, of any kind, would be better than the very scary heads used in some of the photos. I'm just sayin'.
***
Thanks, Louise!

We wanted in on the creepy display model fun, too.

Wow, you really couldn't just wait for an
actual human to pose with?!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

When I renew my vows

I will not be wearing this
toilet paper dress.
Bridal shower game
taken way to far if you ask me.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'd give my left arm...

For a beautiful new necklace.

But how about something hand-stamped.

'Blessed'?

No.

'Family'?

It's just not me.

Getting Closer...

'I think I just sharted?'

Perfect!

What better message to proudly dangle close to my heart?!

{...excuse me.}

Monday, July 27, 2009

protective gear

Condom Couture?

No glove, no love.

{photo submitted by SiSi}

Sunday, July 26, 2009

more sparkle

I was feeling restricted in the full ensemble,
so I slipped into these
airy leg warmers & matching fingerless gloves
instead.

Much better!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

from the kitchen of...

Someone I hope never invites me to dinner.

(Can't show you what's hiding beneath the apron flap.)

Friday, July 24, 2009

just wondering.

Who thought it would be a good idea to buy this fabric:

for this purpose:

???

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Nothing spells class...

like M.I.L.F. on your wine glass.

Pass the Franzia!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

speaking of grizzly bears...

Can't really think of any other explanation for this disaster.

Monday, July 20, 2009

for your precious ballerina...

No leotard would be complete without a ferocious grizzly bear applique.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

mermaids gone wrong

during a quick search for nautical fabric
I came across this little gem.
that pretty much should have been left at the bottom of the sea.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

No intervention needed.

Somebody's glass is definitely half-empty.

Friday, July 17, 2009

tighty whities

So, you have nothing to wear.
Your husband's underwear have skidmark stains on them.
Why not solve two problems at once?
Cut a hole, thus removing the stain, slip it over your head.
Then go out in public.
Nobody will ever know...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What every man doesn't want

Somewhere out there Heather Bailey is crying.


and so is this poor, sweet husband.



Tuesday, July 14, 2009

to go with the dog...

a charming,
googly eyed
piece
of
poop.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Nothing screams summer

like a wool,
knitted,
felted,
garden lantern.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009

brrr....

just the balls of my
ugly man-feet are cold.
good thing I knit these
flip flop socks to keep them cozy.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

happy birthday...

I made this cupcake just for you.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

a bit much.

I really don't even know what to say,
except I am so very sorry
sweet little girl
that your parents did this to you.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Monday, July 6, 2009

Can't sleep?

So why should your spouse?

Fight insomnia and scare the crap out of your husband with the blink of an eye.

(You'll sleep like a baby, but he won't!)

Perfect for airplanes.

(A guarantee for the whole row to yourself.)


Or children.

(Sweet nightmares dreams!)

Sunday, July 5, 2009

keeping tabs

Better to be safe than sorry.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Friday, July 3, 2009

cheerful chafing

Rainbow Brite meets Mrs. Claus.
In weird, underwear form.